How to Prepare a Neuro-Divergent Child Who Wants to Serve a Mission

I have deep affinity to those who are neuro-divergent. Several years ago, before it was mainstream to feel this way, I started to see autism in a new light. I started to see that this thing that society had labeled as a mental disorder was so far from the truth. If anything, the autistic kids that I knew were far superior to me in their mental capacities. What they lacked were social skills. Now, I know that there are different levels of function, and some kids are very low functioning, which is a problem when trying to live and work in society. But, for the most part, these kids are super smart.

Much later in my life, I was told by a very loving cousin that I probably had ADHD. Then a close friend told me the same thing, so I looked into it. As I studied it, I realized that I did, indeed, have ADHD. And, it turns out, the things that I really love about myself are, in large part, because of my neuro-divergent mind.

For my whole life I had heard ADHD labeled as “deficit” and a “disorder”, but I see it as an incredible gift that constantly feeds my mind and keeps me progressing. It definitely comes with some challenges, but now that I am aware of these things, I can choose to love those challenges as a package deal for the wonderful brain I have been blessed with. I can also gather tools and coping skills to navigate some of those obstacles.

Although there are many forms of neuro-divergence, the last one I want to mention is anxiety. I have had two very memorable panic attacks in my life, and they were both very uncomfortable, and a little embarrassing. My heart goes out to those who feel anxiety and panic regularly. There are chemicals in our brains that warn us when we are in danger, and for some of us, that fires off more easily and intensely than for others. There is a bit of work that is needed to manage those triggers, but there are so many resources available to help you navigate it. The big step for getting started is acknowledgement and reaching out for help to find the right resources.

This week’s topic is “How to prepare a neuro-divergent child who wants to serve a mission.” I have shared some of my ideas, but please pray about this. Heavenly Father has way more insight on what is best for you and your child, and he can inspire you to find the best resources and practitioners for you. My first bit of advice is to learn how to communicate with the Spirit. Pray, and listen, and encourage your future missionary to pray as well.

My next bit of advice is, whether your child is 3 or 56, help them know that their mind is beautifully different. Everybody’s mind has strengths and limitations, and being different doesn’t mean you have a disorder or handicap. Don’t ignore that they are different – embrace it and love it. Praise them for their genius. Help them create acceptance and love for their limitations. Don’t let them use those limitations as a cop-out, but rather, encourage them to discover and practice coping skills to help them thrive.

We live in a wonderful time of resources and support. There are books, and – even better for my neuro-divergent mind – audio books, that shed a beautiful light on any of these things. Look for the books that talk about the wonderful things about these unique brains, while offering insight on the strengths, as well as providing tools on how to function in our society. There are also General Conference talks about some of them. There are experts and coaches for these specific brains! They can help you flourish in your genius, and provide tools for your weaknesses. Find them! Use them!

Ask Heavenly Father to find the beauty and joy in your particular divergence. Because, I can tell you with absolute certainty – He thinks you are incredible, and He sees your unique brain as a gift.

The last thing I want to mention is, research the kinds of missions there are out there. There are a variety of service missions. There are temple missions. There are humanitarian missions. There are historical sites missions. There are welfare missions. Talk to your bishop and stake president. Educate yourself. Help your future missionary, and family and friends, to celebrate any and all missions. If a proselyting mission is not the right fit, make sure that any other mission doesn’t seem like a failure, or a second choice. It is a joy to serve the Lord, and He will bless and teach you in any way you choose to serve.

And if serving a mission is not an option, but your daughter or son still wants to serve, talk to your bishop. There are many things that can be done close to home, working only a few hours a week. And if they choose not to serve at all, encircle them about in the arms of your love, buoy them up, and let them know that Heavenly Father loves everything about them.

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